life is temporary

Life is temporary….relax

Try not to take it too seriously

Slow down

See the world around you

Enjoy every moment

Be kind & forgiving to others

Be kind & forgiving to yourself

Tell the people you love that you love them

Laugh often even when there is nothing to laugh about

Forgive even when it’s their fault

Forgive even when it’s your fault

Anger hurts everyone

If today were your last day on earth,

Would you be satisfied with how it went?

Learn from mistakes, it’s why they happen

Remember, in Gods eyes you are beautiful

Learn to see the beauty in all things

Slow Down

This too Shall Pass

Life is Temporary

rainy day

it has been raining in Houston since sometime in the middle of last night.
i like the rain...the sound of it hitting the patio...the laziness it brings to the day....even the melancholy of it.        
lately my dreams have been of people from my past...long past some of them. i have dreamed of mom & dad & even the dog i grew up with, all long since dead & gone. not disturbing dreams, for the most part, just strange. i have begun the process of trying to track down my dad's military records. he was such a quiet, private man. i have only lately started to realize i barely knew him. i wonder if he was always that way or service in WW2 made him that way. what little i know about his army days comes from his mother...he neither denied or confirmed anything she said, but then he never did. how strange it seems to me now as i try to fill out the government paperwork to know so little about my dad's life. he seemed a weak man to me, but then most people seemed weak in comparison to my mom. did they love each other at some time? surely they must have or why marry at all. his mother certainly did everything she could to prevent it & to end it...even after i was born. my mother, it seems, was not the woman "she" had picked out for "her" son to marry. beneath his station i suppose or maybe it was the fact that mom was a divorcee. they frowned on that sort of thing back then. i suspect it was more that mom was not from "money" and lacked an education. what i remember most from those early days of my life is how hurt my mom was when "she" would call for "her son" without so much as speaking to mom or me. i wonder now if she ever got a wrong number...imagine it. **ring** (voice) "hello"....(her)"may i speak to my son."....(voice) "uh...i don't know lady...who the hell are you?? and who's your son??" she also use to pull up in front of our house and honk for daddy to come out. when he died...she didn't call me...i found out a week later. to say i had a weird family is an understatement of epic proportions. the fact my mother always treated her with respect speaks volumes about my mom's character. mom always taught me to respect my elders & she did it too.
there was a family legend about mom's lack of tolerance, however, for some things. uncle Bill married a damn yankee...i kid you not...that's what the entire family called her. even my mom's mother who never cussed called uncle bill's wife.."that damn yankee"... i am sure i must have known that poor woman's real name at some point. at any rate....that damn yankee my uncle bill married said something disparaging about my brother one day to mom. it took 4 men to pull my momma off her....mom was beating her head into the sidewalk at the time. i don't remember what she said about ray, but it was probably true.
my half brother ray...hhmmm..great guy, entertaining, charming, thief, con-artist, junky, ex-con (or just con), interesting to say the least. mom's first child & older than me by 16 years. he never lived with us, except when he would blow through town between trips to prison. i loved him. i haven't seen him since 1981 & have no idea if he is still alive.
i guess that's the real thing about rainy days...they make you think of things long forgotten. of places you've been & lives you've lived & the people you have known. some people spend all their lives in one place...i cannot imagine that.
 i like the rain...the sound of it hitting the patio...the laziness it brings to the day....even the melancholy of it.

random thoughts for today

i was just reading brandon's blog & he is doing 30 letters in 30 days. an interesting exercise i thought when i found out about it. so, being a friend of his i began to read his letters....the one to  his dad reduced me to tears. today i thought i would take a moment and catch up with his blog project...and found a letter to me. uh...color me surprised....and touched beyond words. it shows me that we, as humans, touch each others lives even more than we think we do. i knew it was hard on brandon and other friends who came to the hospital after my stroke to see me like that...it was hard to be seen like that. i am SO not the helpless type. in his blog brandon mentions that he knew i was in good hands with bruce. i think few of our friends truly understand the power that is bruce. he is difficult for some to understand as he has little patience with those who can't keep up. in fact, bruce has little patience with most of the world...lol. i think until i got so sick, even i didn't quite get what bruce is capable of. i knew he helped people, but i had no idea how much...or how many. he is truly anonymous about how many he helps. he slips brand new crisp $100 bills into the hands of those he considers truly needy. i have known bruce over 10 years & for many of those years i was his sponsor, but i never knew he did that until one night after a meeting he slipped it into my hand. this was after my heart attack in '04 & he has been quietly helping me ever since. he also takes care of his aging mother & in the midst of his own health problems eased his father's passing from this world. he seems so scattered to people who do not take the time & trouble to know him better...their loss. of all our mutual friends i worry about bruce the most....i think my most common comment to bruce over the years has been..."slow down....bruce,bruce....hey bruce...you have GOT to slow down before you burn yourself out." has he listened?? not much...he says that thanks to me he has slowed way down from how he use to be...uh...huh? if that is true then he must have been moving so fast the rest of us mere mortals couldn't even see him before. i truly pray for bruce that the pace he keeps will not harm his health....the world needs more people like bruce, but i am afraid he is one of a kind.

some starting thoughts

some starting thoughts on blogging. i haven't blogged in a long time. in fact, i haven't blogged since my space faded from popularity. facebook is ok for staying in touch, but the limit on  how long the status up-dates can be are irritating and i realize i have missed blogging. thanks to my friend brandon leading me here i will attempt to get back in the hang of it. like brandon.....i love to write. it doesn't matter if anyone reads it or not. so, most of the thoughts on here will be my opinion only and i warn all readers in advance i am a person of strong opinions. my feelings are my own and they are valid whether anyone else agrees with them or not. please feel free to comment, but these are only my opinions and feelings...not yours...nor would i force my thoughts on someone else. in that same vein...i will not debate my thoughts....or defend them to others.