a melancholy state of mind

   i am in a melancholy state of mind. it's not exactly sad, but it's close.  i have a friend i have known for a long time. when i moved away from corpus christi i lost touch with most of that crowd, including this friend. when i got on facebook one of the really cool things was to re-connect with the corpus crowd. people i hadn't talked to in years. the friend in question had become an athiest since last i saw them. to see the world in only scientific terms is beyond my comprehension. the world is a magical, mystical place to me and i wouldn't have it any other way. i have friends of all faiths and to my surprise i have a lot of athiest freinds as well. i'm not sure why that surprises me so much...it shouldn't i guess. it's not like i run in a fanatically religious crowd. i am a witch...so religious fanatics and me don't really mix. i have lost some friends over the years who couldn't stop trying to "save" me. but to see the world with no supernatural possible is not possible for me. i can understand not wanting to be part of a specific religion...i get that...but to believe in nothing. to see only logic and science.....to me that's sad.
    the majority of my friends are also in recovery...as am i. i recently celebrated 18 years clean. unfortunately my friend who decided he didn't need a god of any kind also decided he didn't need recovery. he has also decided that it's ok to drink and smoke pot. he declares that ocassionally drinking and smoking dope is not going to ruin his life. hhmm...if that is true then why has he been someone i've known since i first got clean 18 years ago. seems like a long time to figure out you don't need something....seems like a long investment in a program that he now claims is full of shit.
   this is not my best writing effort. it feels disjointed and jumbled and maybe later i'll delete the whole thing. but right now i am melancholy...bordering on sad. i hope my friend stops at only alcohol and pot. i hope my first trip home to corpus in years is not for a funeral. i am praying for him and if he doesn't like it he can kiss my royal irishwitch ass.